Superopinionated is the personal blog of Courtneys Stanton. Based in Portland, Oregon, their posts examine life through the lenses of addiction recovery, intersectional feminism, and mental illness.

Super Opinionated Power Club #11 ~ we want the same things, we dream the same dreams

Welcome to another meeting of the Super Opinionated Power Club!

We meet again, in a world with yet another new One Direction song in it. We also meet each other in a world where I've had either one continuous migraine, or so many migraines in a row they practically overlap and I've stopped trying to count, for a really quite impressive number of days now. So That's Happening.

The Most Important Thing in the World

Let's talk about self care! It's the only thing I want to talk about or maybe even can right now. What is self care? Really fucking personal. I'm not in a position to talk to you about everything I do for myself, or to judge or advise anyone else on what y'all should be doing. Please don't harm yourself, and/or please consider harm reduction as an act of self care. That's about as much of a directed opinion as I can offer.

Acceptance is not the same as love, but let's all try to accept the idea that we inhabit bodies and those bodies (and thus our very selves) require time, attention, care on an ongoing basis in order to survive. We don't have to love that fact, but hating that fact doesn't improve the situation either. Acceptance. Let's dive in.

So here's a thing I have not personally used but it sounds nice: 7 Cups of Tea offers free confidential trained listeners, for if you are in that "I just need someone to talk to...about stuff...idk" place. If you're more specifically wanting to talk to someone about, say, feeling like you want to hurt yourself, that is actually exactly what crisis lines and hotlines exist for, and you're not wasting ~anyone's~ time by using those phone numbers. Same thing goes for if someone in your life is telling you to hurt yourself, or they want to hurt you, or if you've had to witness someone doing that to a friend or acquaintance. (All those things? Harassment and abuse! Even if they happen on the internet! Even if it's strangers on Twitter doing it! It's okay to talk to someone about it! You're not obligated to, but it's an option.)

I've been really into congratulating myself for making sure my days include meals, plural, especially when I get AllThree Meals eaten, around the times of day when one generally consumes those meals. Waiting until 2:30pm to even think about lunch and then there's a 50/50 chance of maybe skipping and pushing on until dinner? Not remotely self care. Putting reminders into my schedule so I eat lunch at lunch time? *~*~SELF CARE~*~*

So yes, self care is not always "indulge myself in doing ridiculous things", sometimes it is a little bit drudge-y and boring and "ugh mo-om" but I'm the one determining I should do it so "ugh se-elf". But WHY does my body need "sleep", why CAN'T I just stay up for another ?? hours mindlessly refreshing Tumblr and playing Covet? (omgcovetomg) However, the vast majority of people are diurnal creatures, and so even though the days are mostly filled with very uncomfortable head pain (broken up with very uncomfortable nausea...variety!), it's probably for the best that I sleep at night time and am awake during day time. For one thing, I can't get rooibos soy lattes in the middle of the night from my favorite cafe, but I can absolutely do that in the middle of the morning. 

So for me, self care is a lot of doing kind things for myself, feeling really bad that I'm not able to do more grandiose self care OR not spending that time in other ways in the first place (mental paradox, it doesn't have to make sense), and then trying to be kind to myself again instead of continuing to feel bad. Did I do [goal]? No? Did I do [other thing that is smaller and still important]? Yes? *~*~WELL THEN, GOLD STAR~*~* It is a process, I am not remotely perfect at it, the point isn't to be perfect, it's to find a nice thing every day you can do for yourself, let yourself do that thing for yourself, rinse, repeat.

Yesterday when I was walking, I shuffled through a bunch of leaves that had piled up on the sidewalk, the way I used to do when I was a kid. It was amazing.

[...] of the Week

Made me cry: Sophia Foster-Dimino, Zine #4
Quote: "Full fathom five thy father lies./Of his bones are coral made./Those are pearls that were his eyes./Nothing of him that doth fade,/But doth suffer a sea-change/Into something rich and strange." - Shakespeare, The Tempest 
Tumblr: You Know You're A Survivor When 
Subject line song: One Direction - Steal My Girl
YouTube video: Lisa Eldridge's Facial Massage Routine

Super Opinionated Power Club is back and isn't as into structure at the moment!

Super Opinionated Power Club #10 ~ I roll and I roll 'til I change my luck